Wesley's new life
by Isabella Rossellini
Summary: What happened when Wesley ran away from his problem when Connor was gone? Is it going to be better or worse? Or give one more chance of their friendship?
1. Chapter 1

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**Wesley POV **

I have no one... I have no one to go... I'm alone, for the first time in my life, I felt alone and afraid. I know what I did and I know its wrong. This pain inside me, it hurt. More then what I have been through. I knew Angel wouldn't understand, and I don't blame him. Maybe I would do same thing as he did. When he tried to kill me, I felt anger, somehow I felt it. Well anyone who throws something at me feel anger too. But I don't deserve to feel anger at him. Especially him. I did something so wrong, so horrible and I do not deserve forgiveness or anything else.

I felt guilty enough already when Angel tried to kill me, but the visit from Fred made me feel guiltier then ever. How can I live with this guilt? I lost my friends and my job. The only thing I have is this guilt! Nothing more! No one to talk to or to hang out. Okay, I'm not that kind of person who 'hangs out', but still... When you have friends, you always know someone will have your back... Now I have no one... Thanks to me, Angel's life is ruin, and so as mine...

I want my life over. I want everything end. No more vampires or demons, pain, guilt... I want everything to end. But I can't... I want to... But I just can't... First, I'm to scare to take my life away. Second, I have to say sorry to Angel and my ex-friends... I don't care if they accepted it or not. I just have to say it, before I die. Well, before Angel kills me anyway... There is any reason why I have to go on with my life? I used too, but now... Nothing... Just empty... Connor is gone and it was my entire fault...

I'm not sure what to do. I know that I have to face Angel and say sorry, but I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. Besides, sorry won't fix anything. But one thing for sure, I have to leave L.A... I'm not ready to face Angel and the others. I think, right now its be best for everyone that I leave and never come back. Some day, when I'm brave enough, I will come back and face others, someday...

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After Fred was gone, few hours later the doctor came and said I could go back home now. He asked me if there is anyone who can pick up and my answer was no. I was still in shock when Fred came over. The words she told me, it made me sad and afraid. Her words stuck in my mind, and it looks like its going to be there for a long time.

What she told me makes me sad, because not only I ruined Angel's life, but now I ruined everyone's. It also makes me afraid that I will never see my friends or my ex-friends again. I wish Gunn and Fred never found me and left me there to die. Maybe it was my punishment for what I done. Well I think this is worse then hell.

Doctor told me that he called cap and I can leave here in about half an hour. As soon as he left the room, I changed my clothes and picked up the box that Fred left for me. When I looked inside the box, I felt the pain got worse. The memories of my ex-friends and baby Connor. I put them back quickly and took the box and went down to stairs. I didn't bother to ride the elevators, I rather walk. So I didn't ride the cab and just went home walking and thinking of what should I do now.

I reached home about more then two hours of walking. My legs felt sore and I didn't think I could make it. When I got inside home, I felt nothing. When ever you went some where, work or mall, you always feel something when you go back home. It feel comfortable and relaxes, nothing matter when you reach home. How dirty the house is, long as it your home, you always feel welcome. But now I don't feel anything, just empty. Now I know there is nothing here for me in L.A...

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After that long walk, I decide go to sleep for while, so I can clear my head. But I couldn't go back to sleep. Something keeps making me open my eyes when ever I close them. So I gave up and went out for walk. I knew it be safe to walk out right now, when sun is still up. I don't think Angel will come back and kill me. I went out side and put my head up to the sun. Trying to feel the sun lights in my face. It felt good and wonderful. But I put my head down and take a deep breath. I slowly walk around the park. Wondering around and hoped that this will clear my head for while so I can sleep.

Right then I saw Gunn and Fred, holding hands and walk to lack. I turn back, hoping they didn't saw me. But somehow all my luck ran out. Gunn saw me and grabbed my shoulder.

"What the fuck are you doing here man? You have to come here and ruin our date?" Gunn shout at me with angry voice. But I didn't answer him back, I pretended I couldn't say anything say anything.

"Gunn, leave him alone." Fred said, and looks at me with disgust. "I don't know why you are here Wesley, but I want you to leave. You already ruined everyone and everything. I don't want you to ruin my date either." Then Gunn let go my shoulder and they both left.

I can't believe what she just said. I want to ruin her date? I didn't even know there was a date. I guess there is no place for me in L.A... It's best I went back home and looked for a new place. I slowly walk back home, I hoped this walk will clear my head, but it made it worse. I slowly walked, thinking where should I move to. One thing for sure of that, I'm not going to England. I just can't. I hate there. Just list the countries and states I can move to.

"Wesley?"

I looked back, someone was calling my name and I was sure it wasn't one of my ex-friends. When I looked back, it was just teenager looking at me.

"Is that you, Wesley?" the teen asked.

"Yes... Who are you?" I asked, I never saw her before.

"You don't remember me? You use to my tutor and one of your babysitter." teen said, smiling at me for some reason. Then it hit me. I remember her! She used to be my favorite student or something like that.

"Diane? Is that you?"

"One and only!" Diane said then she hug me tight that I couldn't breath.

" I. can't. Breath." I barely said and she let me go.

"Sorry... It is so good to see you again! I miss you so much!" Diane said with big smile. She always had big smile even though everything gone bad.

"I miss you to. Where had you been?" I asked as we sit down in branch.

"I've been almost everywhere. Thanks to my dad..." She said with angry voice. "But now I have to leave with my mom's friends. So I can stay in one place istead of all over the country. How abo-, Oh my god! What happened to your neck?" She asked, looking at my neck.

"Well I got this from my... old job." I answered. I couldn't really tell her about my formal job.

"What kind of job did you have? Far as I know you, your job can't be FBI or any others like that. So if you're hiding something it won't work." Diane said, what I could say about it. She can see right throw me. We grew up together, she was my old neighbor. We knew each other since she was born.

"You always see right through me, don't you?" I said, and she gave me smile and said, "Wesley, I knew something is wrong. I know we just met few minute ago, but I can see right through you in your eyes. Just tell me what's wrong. If you tell your secret, I will tell mine." Diane said, I looked at her. It feels weird to tell a teen who was sixteen about my problems. But I know what she will do to me, if I don't tell her the truth.

"Okay, I will tell you. Its shocking and weird, but I think you can handle it." I said and taking deep breath again.

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**AN/ Thank you for reading my story! This is my first fanfic and this is my first story that I wrote in first person! I know it is weird story, but this story stock in my head and it doesn't go away. I'm fan of Angel, but I never got chance to see all the shows... I never got to see the season four and now in TNT, they are showing and I start to watching. And when Connor was gone, Angel tried to kill Wesley and it kinda made me mad. Then what Fred told Wesley made me mad as well. I do understand how Angel had felt, but tried to kill Wesley mad me so mad, so I kinda made this story in my mine.(Wesley is one of my favorite characters) Right now, Wesley going to feel guilt and have hard time... But it will change that soon... He well lose his memories like in chapter three. Also I want to tell you this fanfic is crossover with Charmed. They are going to show up in Chapter three... **

**Any readers who liked or not, tell me what parts do you dislike. Also things that I need to improve. I will try my best! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two….**

**A/N: Sorry that it took me forever to update…. I couldn't decide how to write second chapter… I mean it was hard… dunno, but I do know that soon or later I have to update… And I decide that I skip the talking things and well just go t Charms house… It won't be good as first chapter. **

**ps… I didn't have beta this time because my friend is busy this week and I cannot ask her to beta this for me and sent back tomorrow… So I just post the way it is. I will beta this story as soon as she sent me back… **

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**Wesley POV **

Wesley POV…

Here I was standing front door of Diane's house. Well it wasn't really her house, but still she lives here… I don't know why I agree to move in here with her.

-In the park...-

We were just talking, about my life of course. In the beginning I sound really, really stupid. Who would believe Vampire and demons? Sure there were a lot of demons and well, all kind of monster live in L.A, but who would believe me? As I continued my story, Diane looked fine. It was like she was actually believed me.

Hahahahaha… right?

As the story continued, some how my emotions got out of control. I kinda said like Angel was being… I don't know a bester? I do felt sorry and still do, but something telling me that we are together as friends for more then a years. And by now he should know I care about him. So baby is related to him, I should care about the baby as I much as I care about him, or even more. So somehow I call him bester. Or maybe worse then that… I'm still human, what can I do?

After the story about my life was over, Diane looked at me, more like stare. She didn't say anything for while, then suddenly she gave me a big smile.

"Okay then. If you don't have any place to go, you are more then welcome to my house!" Diane said, sound happy. I stared at her for while. Most of people might said, "You are crazy, man." But not being all happy and ask you to live with you, is not the answer I been waiting for.

"Ummmm… Are you sure you are alright?" I asked as I put my hand on her forehead. 'Maybe she has fever.' I thought, but she was fine.

"Of course I'm okay. You said you needed new place to stay, and I don't think they won't mine you staying with me for weeks." Diane said as sweet little smile. I was going to say no. I mean staying with seventeen or eighteen years old is not my opinion.

"I cannot believe I agree with you." I said in the car, sitting next to Diane. She dragged me to move out and move in with her. Something about her you could never say no. As I was driving Diane said something rather important.

"Before we go to the house, I have something important to tell you." Diane said, and this is something that I never exacted. "I'm a witch…"

"Come on, you are witch? You never did anything bad." I said, misunderstood her meaning.

"No, I meant by being a real witch. Potion, magic and bulla, bulla, bulla... I'm a real magical witch." Diane said as my head was spinning…

"And I'm telling you this, because well… um... owner of the house is witch too. We are all good witches. We help people like you do…" Diane said as tried to comfort me, but it didn't work. I stop the car so I can think.

"You are telling me that you are witch!" I yelled, not loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Yes. But as I said before, I'm a good witch. All my families are. We work hard to save innocent's life." Diane tried to explain to me that she wasn't bad witch.

"If you are good witch why you have to worry about it?" I asked, I mean I deal with demons and vampire… I think I can handle someone I know is a witch.

"First of all, I don't want any others to know because it could danger my life or anyone who is close to me. But mainly the house I live in is kinda dangerous. Sometime I have demons attacks. I told them that you deal with a lot of demons, so they kinda agreed with me. Hahaha..?" Diane said rather too quickly so I won't say anything while she was talking.

"Don't worry about it. I will be fine… I did worse thing before, so this is like another adventure for me." I said as I smile.

"You are the best." Diane hugged me.

-back to beginning of story…. In Diane's house-

Diane ran toward me with some of my bags. "Well, let's go in." She said as I watched her opening the door. As I saw inside the house, I saw a lot of wood and flowers. Don't know why, but it just there. As I enter the house, I heard voices.

"Phoebe, it is okay! He is just staying for a weeks." Someone said, not sure who it was, but I have pretty good guess that it was owner of this house.

"But Piper, we might danger his life." Another woman's voice came out. Maybe I shouldn't come here in first place. It sounds like they are fighting because of me.

"You guys don't worry about it. I heard that he deals with a lot demons and all kind of monster all the time. So we don't have to worry. Beside, you two don't live here anyway." The owner said it again. I looked at Diane who was standing next to me.

"Um… I will call them…" Diane said, I think she was embrace or something. Soon I heard foot steps coming close to front door. I don't think they were thinking at all. Because they didn't notice that I was here.

"But Piper…." One of the woman stop, noticing we are here. She had long, around shoulder, red hair. Her skin was pale then others. She was wearing white tight shirt. Maybe too tight if you ask me.

"You two are here… Already…" one of the short brown hairs said. She had blue very small and tight shirt. If you call that a shirt… And blue jeans.

"Welcome… I didn't know you two are here." Long brown hairs woman said. She was wearing simple shirt with tight black jeans. I knew that she was owner. I notice by her voice.

I didn't say anything for while. I just stare at them for while, but I was snap out by Diane.

"Hello. My name is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. Nice to meet you." I said. Maybe it was too proper…?

"Well hello. My name is Piper Halliwell, and this is my sisters…" Piper said as she points out her sister.

"Hello... My name is Phoebe Halliwell." Phoebe said as we shank our hands.

"And I'm Paige Matthews…" Paige said as I shank with her. They all look nice and I really couldn't believe they were witches.

"Well, I gotta go. I have meeting today and if I don't go now, I be late." Phoebe said as she get her bag and out.

"So do I… I have to go help out magic school…" Paige said as she took her jacket from the hanger. "see ya." Last thing she said before she ran out.

"Me too, I have meeting with my friends today. I promise to meet them today, so bye." Diane said as she left me… What I suppose to do?

There was silent for while… We just stare at each other for while. Then she starts speaking. "Um… I show you to your room.."

Then she walked up to the stairs. I follow her with my bags. When we got up, there were four doors. "You are room is next to the right." Piper said.

"Well… um thank you." I said as I pick up my bags up again as I enter the room.

"Do you need help?" Piper asked and I couldn't possibly ask her to carry my stuff for me.

"No, it's okay." I said as I put my bags down. I notice my room didn't have anything at all. Well there is something, but only thing it was bed and a mirror.

"No, I will help. I have nothing to do anyway. My babies are sleep." Piper said as she picked up my bags that remains out side my bedroom door.

"You are married? You look too young to be a mother." I said, she was really young or just her look?

She blush, and said thank you. Staring that moment we began to talk while we were moving my stuff to my room. And as soon as we knew, we became a friend. Then hours later we began to talk about our life. It sounds like she has some trouble as my life was. Maybe more troubles then mine.

Hours later she got phone call from her work. It sounds like they need her today.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go…" Piper said as she picks up her brown jacket.

"No problem. I will take care of the house." I said as she picks up her car key.

"And can you watch the babies?" She asked me again and nodded my head.

"No need to ask me. I will be happy to take care of them." I said, and then she soon left the house.

But the truth was I wasn't so sure I could take care of the babies. It just reminded about Connor… What I did to him. I should stop thinking about it. But I just can't. Who would? As I was thinking I move up to upstairs to check out the babies. I didn't have chance to see them.

As I open the door which it was Piper's room, I got into the room as I watched the babies. They look like they were sleeping. Soon I turn my head away from them. They were keep reminding me of Connor. When I turn my head there was two strange men looked at me. Who are they?

I was about to tell him to get out, but somehow he make some kind of energy to his head and throw at me. I grab the babies and ran out the room. (Somehow…) When I got down to stair I saw two men came out thin air. Then they start throwing weird ball at me. But luckly I avoid them. Don't know how, but I just did, which it made me lose balance and fall down to ground.

Soon babies start to cry. Then it hit me. This is my fault that babies are in danger… Okay, it wasn't really. Some kind of weird men came out the room and start to throw something at me isn't really my fault, but somehow it felt like it was.

Maybe because of Connor, thinking this is second chance to do something right. All short of things ran through my mines. I hold the babies tight in my arms and close my eyes. Then I hard something blowing up and yells.

When I looked up there it was. Piper Phoebe and Paige…

**sorry that I go to fast and it kinda got bore out of this fanfic. I really want to write about when Wesley lost his memories. And it been while I wrote this fanfic so not sure what kind of feeling I got while I was writing. So this chapter was longer but it wasn't great…. Next chapter will be when Wesley loses his memories and Angel is looking for him for help… Well sorry about the spelling/grammar… next or this week I promise I will beta the story… **

**Cursegirl – I hope you keep reading my fanfic even though it is not good as beginning…**

**Alababa – Thanks…**

**Tariq – Thank you…**

**Crazytiger – Thank you.. I hope you come back and read more.**

**Euley – Thank you. Diane is some character I just made up and she known him in her childhood.**

**Angel lover- Thanks and I made this chapter longer, but in the ending I kinda made really fast… hope you don't complains about it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three….**

**-I was going to update this chapter next week, but I kinda updated anyway…. And also for Allen Pitt, Thank you so much for your review… It kinda helped me to write better… I know that it is odd that Piper asked Wesley to baby-sit, but I need something to make Paige and Phoebe to trust him… Anyway I hope you review again to help me right next chapter…-**

**ps… I didn't have beta this time because my friend is busy this week and I cannot ask her to beta this for me and sent back tomorrow… So I just post the way it is. I will beta this story as soon as she sent me back… **

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**Beta by no one for now.**

**Wesley POV **

When I looked up there it was. Piper Phoebe and Paige…

They were standing front of me. I didn't say anything to them. What could I say to them? But soon one of the sisters, Phoebe came to me.

"Are you okay?" Phoebe asked as she gave her hand.

"Yes, I'm fine. I usually deal with them often." I said to her, as I grab her hand. When I stood up Piper came close to me. I gave the babies to her hands.

"I'm sorry. I should have been more careful." I said to her. As I finished, they looked at me strangely.

"No, it's not your fault. I should have told you about demon attacks and I shouldn't ask you to baby-sit." Piper said, but still I felt guilty for moments.

"But thank you. Thank you so much for protect my sons." Piper finished and I smile at her. Weak small smile, but it was happy smile.

"Yes, thank you. I don't know what I do if something happened to my nephews." Phoebe said as she kisses the babies.

"Me too. I guess you are great help after all." Paige said, after that moment of thankfulness I felt really, really great. I helped someone by myself. Even through in the end they are the one who save me, still I did well.

Then how come I couldn't save Connor? I should have saved him, but in the end I was the one who hurting him. Soon my weak smile was gone with sadness.

"I think we should go out for dinner!" Paige said, but Piper said no.

"We need to find out the demon that attacks my babies." Piper said, and I agree with her. Who know what will come out next?

"Okay… I guess I check the shadow book." Paige said sound little disappointed. She slowly walks up stairs as I was looking at them.

"Demon? That 'men' were demon? They're nothing like demon I saw before." I told them. I see demon with green skin or brown and all kind of other stuff, but they never looked like human before. Except for the Vampires… They are human before they turn monster.

"What kind of demons you saw before?" Phoebe asked, if she asks me about demons, well I saw a lot of them. I think I saw bunch demons when I was just a kid.

"Well, demons… with ugly look with evil eyes. Kinda like monsters." I answer her back. I don't think they will believe me…

"Are you sure? I saw a lot of demons who looks like… humans." Phoebe said again.

"Yes, I'm sure. I have been seeing demons when I was just a child." I said, it was true (not really sure, because I really don't know too much about Wesley's background.) Because of my father, that I saw a lot of demons.

"How come?" Piper asked. I was going to answer her question when suddenly the light appears.

"Hey guys. I need to tell you-" some guy appears after the light. He was tall and had brown hair. He looked kind and well… nice.

"Who is he?" The strange man asked. I didn't say anything.

"He is… he is" Piper discontinue when door opens. It was Diane… She finally came back! Now she can explain _everything _that she forgot to tell me.

"Hey you guys, what's up?" Diane said happily. But everyone had the 'look'. "Okay, if it is about being late, I'm sorry. We were at movie!" Diane finished, hoping she wasn't in trouble.

"Can someone explain who he is?" The strange man asked again. Really, he could just ask me.

"Oh, him… He is my friend from hometown. He is staying here for while until he find his own place. I thought I told you that, Leo." Diane said. So his name is Leo… So who is he?

"Oh… this is him…" Leo said.

"Hello, my name is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce." I introduce myself.

"Nice to meet you… I'm Leo." Leo said, even though I know his name already. After we finished saying hello, he looked at me strangely. "Did I saw you before?" Leo asked, but I said no. I never saw him before.

"No… I don't think we never met." I told him. "Are you been L.A before?" I asked him.

"No. I never, well I did, but it was long time ago." Leo said,

"Oh… I used to work in L.A… I was working for Angel-" I was cut off by Leo.

"You work with Angel? The vampire with a soul?" Leo said, and I only nodded my head. "Then... Then you most be the one who was watcher before!" Leo finished.

"Yes… Well ex-watcher." I correct him.

"You know about him honey?" Piper asked, and Leo nodded.

"He is ex-watcher. Elders don't really explain about them to witches." Leo said, and then Piper smile at him.

"Well, now you better remember him as person who saves our son." Piper said and now Leo looked at me gratefully. I really didn't do anything. Only thing I did was, trying to avoid the demons away from the babies. Nothing at all.

Then soon Paige came back and saw us talking unrelated topic. "Hey! You guys wanted to find out about the demons and didn't want to go out for dinner! Here I am now who just find out about the demons that just attack, seeing you guys doing nothing!" Paige yelled.

"Sorry Paige. Anyhow, did you find anything about the demon?" Phoebe asked.

"Well only thing I found out the demon is the name… This demon is so call kadicha(I just made it up… haha…?)" Paige answered her. "And I was hoping Leo can find anything about it."

"Sure," the light appears again. "Wait!" I said, then the light disappear and Leo was standing front of me.

"Before I say anything, who are you?" I asked, I mean this light thing is getting annoying.

"I'm.. I'm elder… Kinda like angel." Leo answered me. Angel… Angel… A real angel… I never thought I see angel before I die.

"Very well… Anyway the Kadicha is the demons who gather the powers of other creatures. They only come for powerful creature, but sometime they come for their intelligent. Sometime they turn into humans, but in the full moon, they turn back to their old self." I said to them. They looked at me for seconds and start talking again.

"How come you know all this fact?" Paige said, and I answer her. I told her about everything about my life. It was simple it is. I was watcher and got fired. Then I help helpless with Vampire with the soul. But soon I kidnapped his son because I thought he was going to kill his son. Then Angel tried to kill me because he was really mad. Now I'm here because I met Diane in the park.

For moment they looked at me. Maybe they are mad because of the fact I kidnapped the baby. Leo and Piper has child and they probably think I'm evil… Maybe even Phoebe and Paige are mad.

I was about to say something, but I was stop by Leo.

"As father, I am angry that you kidnapped his son. Then again, you tried to save him and you did the best as you can. I don't blame you for that. And I very disappointed at Angel..." Leo said, as other nodded. Thank you. I thought to myself. I was thankful that they understood why I did it.

"So you don't have to feel so guilty about it." Phoebe said, as she pat my back.

"Well, can we eat something now? I'm hungry." Diane said as others nodded. Piper gave the babies to Leo and asked him to feed them and put them into the bed.

Piper soon enters the kitchen to get ready for dinner. Then that was what happened… Nothing more, just like that first day of Halliwell's house…

**Sorry that it was kinda bad… I didn't know what to write about… Well first day is past… **

Soon days and weeks, even month past… I am still living with Halliwell's house. I find some apartment, but they were far away from my job. Yes, I got the job… Just temporary for now. I thinking quit this job and start new one. Anyway my job is not the greatest. I just work about three hours a day and baby-sit the babies. Of course I'm helping them with demon hunting. Time pass by we became close friends.

But time by times I have nightmares. Where Angel is after me and others were mad at me. And baby Connor crying. There was on one around him. Just alone, no one to help him… Then I woke up. Every day I have same dream. Maybe my brain is trying to tell me that I shouldn't be so happy when I did something horrible.

"Are you okay Wesley?" I heard Phoebe voice behind me. I turn back and there it was Phoebe…

"I'm okay…" I lied, I never be okay…

"You know, I know you are lying… I know because I can feel it." Phoebe said, it was hard to lie to her. I mean at least Lorne read your mine when you sing, but she can read your mine all the times. It kinda hard to keep a secret to her…

"Well… If you know how I feel then why are you asking me the question?" I asked. Not because I was annoyed, but because I really don't know what to say to her.

"I know what you feel… But I want to know more… I want to help you, so come on. It won't hurt a bit." Phoebe said, maybe this will work out… Maybe…

"Well first of all, did you ever feel fit in before?" I asked.

"Actually, before this witch stuff, I never fit in.. How much I want to fit in, but I never did… How hard I tried." Phoebe answer. Which it was good answer..

"I did that too… When I was watcher I never fit in. I think I was first person who got fired… When I finally met Angel, I start to do well… But still I do something stupid and mess things up…" I said, and then Phoebe put her hand beside my shoulder.

"It's okay… It wasn't your fault…" Phoebe said, maybe she was right… But something made me think it was my fault.

"No, that's not all. This place! I love it here, but I want to move out… When Diane gets her own place or move back with her parents, there is no reason me to stay here!" I yelled, I don't know why, but it felt good. I was waiting for Phoebe to talk back, but she didn't…

"How about my job? I mean I don't even make money good enough for myself, every where I go I feel like I will never fit in!" I yelled again, this time something hit me. Something inside me hit me hard. I don't what it was, but it just did.

"Go on…" only words Phoebe said…

"Then… Then… every time I looked myself I feel like I'm biggest idiot in the world. Hurting people I care and damage people's life." I said and I stop. There wasn't more to say.

"But that is not it… Something else is also boring you." Phoebe said and she gave me warm smile.

Then I looked at her for moment. Her eyes… Something about her eyes and smile makes me feel safe… Someone I can trust. Maybe it because we are common…

"Then… Then... I feel angry and sad. You and your sister, even your friends are close… For me, my family is not that close, ether my friends… My friends… People I trust, understand me, got me back… They... They didn't believe me or tried to understand me…" Soon I know tears drop down to my cheek. I was going to stop crying and talking, but somehow it didn't work… "It felt like I was nothing to them. It was like I didn't have feeling and only Angel did. Just because I did one big mistake, it doesn't mean I'm idiot. Angel did something bad too, but just me that got blame for everything. When Angel got away being the evil one, I get blame. When I wanted to good and it didn't work out, I got blame!" Soon tears drop uncontrollably. I repeat same words over and over again… I don't know I did feel this way. I never knew because I wanted to hide my mistake. I didn't want to deal with it… I close my eyes, hoping this was only bad dream… Everything was bad dream and wake up going back to work with Angel and his gang.

Then I felt warm… Someone was hoping me… It was Diane who was next to me. (She is another side of Phoebe… and also I don't know why I put her in here…) Then I saw Phoebe was hugging me too.

"You are staying here because you are our friend. The best friend we could ever ask for…" Phoebe said, as she hugs me tight…

"Wesley… I… I am sorry. I should have been there for you like you are there for me." Diane said…

I hug them back. "I wish… I wish I could forget about everything and start all over…" I said, and then Phoebe let me go, so as Diane.

"Really? You want to forget about it?" Phoebe said, and I nodded. I want to forget about it. It wasn't _the_ best thing to do, but at least my pains go away…

"If you are sure… If you are sure, then we could do something about it…" Diane said, as she stood up. "I call everyone else… Wait here for moment okay Wesley?" Diane asked me and I nodded.

Then both of them leave me alone in living room as they off to kitchen. Soon I heard some voices. Some are arguing, but soon it stops. Then I heard foot steps.

"Wesley… We made decision that…" Paige said and stops for moment. "We would make memories potion for you…"

"What?" I asked.

"Memories potion… It helps you to forget about your memories… We are going to make you one and it is your decision to take it." Piper said, and I stare at them (There is Leo too…)

"Thanks… I don't know what to say…" I told them. It was truth… I don't know what to say to them.

"No problem. We are friends and that's what we do." Paige said to him and gives him a hug.

An hour past, Diane was next to me. Everyone else was kitchen where they making potion for me.

"If… If you forget who you are… What we suppose to tell you? Leo agreed to help out and make new ID for you (Some kind of magic… I mean they are witches right? And Leo is elder so he could so do something), but still… What we suppose to do?" Diane asked, and she was right… What am I going to do? Is it still going to be same old me? Or different me…?

"And what if.. What if _they_ come back to look for you? What we suppose to do?" What am I suppose to do? I really don't know…

"Here…" Diane handed the papers. I stare at her. What am I suppose to do with this paper. "Write down what you want to say… When the time comes I will give you back…" Diane said and I nodded. Then I start writing…

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They came to me… They give me the potion. I looked at potion for while. Make sure what I was doing. Make sure this is what I wanted to do.

I slowly open my mouth and drink the potion. Slowly… When I looked my bottle and it was empty… Then something hit me like a shit…

I open my eyes… Where am I? Better yet, who am I?

**A/N I'm so happy! I mean I finally finish the chapter three! Now on I can write about the part I was waiting for! Thank god! Well chapter two and three wasn't the best chapter… First chapter was okay, but second and third was bad, and I'm very sorry… And now on I won't write in first person. Anyway not sure I want to still use first person for this fanifc… I really don't care about that anymore. I'm thinking making paring… Which I don't want Phoebe and Wesley… or Fred and Wesley, because next chapter or later they all going to meet. Do you think I should make slash fanfic or not? It is up to you. Review to me… Because if you don't, I might to slash one… Anyway I better go now. Thank you for reading my fanfic. Also review please…. **


	4. Angel's POV

**Chapter four**

**Title of the chapter: Time pass and time to forgive…**

**Rating: K+ or T**

**Paring: Unsure for now..**

**Beta by… no one for right now**

**Summary: What happened when Wesley ran away from his problem when Connor was gone? Is it going to be better or worse? Or give one more chance of their friendship?**

**A/N Helloooo people! So long since I update this fanfic… I'm so sorry… I was some what busy… Well most of all I was writing 'Past life'… My friend, who shall be nameless, said she will kill me if I don't update that fanfic and now I have to update every two week… or more…,. Well right now I'm spending all night to write this fanfic… so sleepy… I'm not so sure if this is good… This is when Angel and his gang decided to look for Wesley… I was about to make it longer, but I'm tried and I still have to write another fanfic… So please review and tell me what I have to fix, except my grammar, because I am still practicing… Review please! **

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Time pass and people change… Sometime it turns out to be good, or bad. From their action they learn that they did something wrong, and soon they hide or try to make up for what they did… A lot of people does that, even demons and all being try to make up for what they did…

Sometime, there is being just care about their action and doesn't even bother what they did… They never look back, telling themselves that they were right and others were wrong… Sadly, a lot of people, beings, do that as well…

Humans and all other creatures make choices… Ether bad or good… Everyone change in time right? If it's so, than does their actions change as well? OR just in people's mine? If it is, some time later on, their actions are acceptable? Later on in future, their punishment is unfair? Or maybe it is fair, but just people change… Maybe… Maybe that is the life…

My friend made choice… He made stupid idiotic choice in the world… I never forgive him… Not because what he did to me, because he was foolish to done it… He was my friend… He knew me better than that… He hurt my child, his friend and… and me… Than why am I feel sad instead of anger? ….

Time pass, no matter how much people want to stop, it will never stop… When time pass, people's mine change… Good to bad… It doesn't matter… It all depends on how people think… What they believe in, who they care and love… So even time pass, my mine shouldn't change at all… right? He hurt people dearly I loved and for that my mine shouldn't change… Than why, why am I feels so sad, this feeling of guilt more than I ever felt before…

Is it because he was my friend before? Is it because he was there every moment when I really needed someone? Is it because he was there for me from beginning of my journey? Or is it because I knew why he did it? And for what reason he did it? Or maybe I knew he cared, he loved me as friend and family…?

Time pass and people change… Sometime good or bad… I'm not sure I changed good or bad… Only thing I know is I changed… For me long anger and sadness of time pass, and I finally open my eyes.

I look back what I did, something I can't live my life without… I look back what did and seem what Wesley did was nothing but kid's prank… Just trying something, something new… It doesn't mean any harm… Just ended up bad… It was just like kid prank compare to mine…

The moment when I was victim for change, I learned… I learned their pain… I was blind of anger… People trust people and knowing got their back give them support they will need. That's what I know, and what I always wanted. And I had it, more and more… Soon I realized I had more than I ever expected. Each of them I have disagreement, and common interests… But most of all, we know we will do anything to protect each other…

Time passed, and I realized what I needed was time… Time remind me that there is always reason to their actions. Now long period of time pass, it taught me time pass and people forgive…

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Everything has been changed, time fly fast… It seems like yesterday when Connor was kidnapped. Everything was back to where it was before, as if puzzle finally got back to each others. We do jobs and help the helpless. Raising my son and Cordy arguing about paycheck… Everything was back to where it was…

Every puzzle, if one of the parts of puzzle is missing, than it will never _be_ finish…

We finally got back the pieces we could get, and now we are only missing one… The one piece that we throw away…

I waked toward the main hall, where all of my friends were standing… They were moving around, getting into their job… Lately people come here to ask for help… I am gladly to help, but right now everything was away too slow. It wasn't this slowly before when… well when _he_ was here… I came up to them, Fred noticed me from counter.

"Hey Angel, I thought you be sleeping right now." Fred said giving me sweet smile.

"I was, but I woke up early…" I said and walking toward them. "I thought I will be some help…" Total lies… I wasn't sleeping two nights and I never even thought about the job until now…

"Well, we kinda finished all the work today… So, you can go back and rest." Cordy said as she passing by.

I look at them, they were reading some files. I wasn't in the mood to go back to my room alone or watch my friends reading some files… I sigh and set down in couch that located in center.

I lay my head on my hands, and try to think… "Hey Angel-cake, you don't look so good." I heard Lorne talking to me.

"I just need to think…" I told him, not bother to look up.

"Okay." Lorne said as I heard he is walking away…

I looked up and noticed that they were talking about something. I didn't care what it was, I know that it was time to let everyone agree to find last piece of puzzle… Get Wesley back…

I stand up heavily, "We need to have meeting now." I said, or more like demanding.

Everyone was looking at me, I had my serious look (when does he not have serious look) and they knew, or better knew, it was important. They didn't bother to asked me anything and follow me into the room

We entered my office, where once Wesley used to work at. I set down at my chair as everyone set around me. (Like other chair, desk and sofa.) I lowered my back and faced my friends…

"So what is the news?" Gunn asked me, thinking that it was one of those killing demon missions.

"Well, this is not demon missions we usually have…" I said.

"Than it is saving from vampires, spells or witches?" Cordy asked this time.

"No, that's not it." I told her.

"Than Angel, what is it?" Fred asked me gentle.

"If it is something too dangerous, sorry Angel-cake, I think I better stay here and do spell or research stuff…" Lorne said, why everyone have to react before I didn't even say one word!

"No Lorne, you won't stay back, and this is not one of those missions, okay? This is personal matter." I told them, little bit of anger in my voice.

"Personal matter? We don't have time to hear personal issue man." Gunn said as he stood up and about to leave.

"This is about Wesley…" I said and it stopped Gunn from leaving the room. Everyone looked at me emotionlessly.

"What, what about him?" Cordy asked me, sound little worried.

"If you are thinking about revenge thing-" I cut off Lorne.

"No, I'm thinking, I _was_ thinking that I, I mean, we should forgive him…" I told them. I told them as if it was letting weight off my back.

Everyone looked at me and I give them the serious look again. "I know that it will be hard-" I was cut off by Lorne.

"That's great! We have been talking about him for while… We were waiting until you are willing to give him second chance." Lorne said happily. I guess everyone missed him… I smiled; it was small smile so no one notice how happy I was…

"Well, I guess we could go to Wesley's place tonight." I told them, feeling that I could go back to sleep again… And putting back everything where it supposes to be…

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**Sorry if there is not much of detail and well ending was really bad… I just wanted to end this chapter… Anyway Next chapter will be longer and better… I thinking about making them meet in next chapter… Well please review and don't flame me...**

**PLEASE REVIEW! And tell me which paring you like to do… Slash or not? I'm voting… And right now I have no idea what to do about paring… One of my reader want to be slash and other want to be Paige/Wesley… I don't really care which one, but I do care what my readers think… So review and tell me which paring like to have… So please review!**


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